What does this word do to you? Just the sound of it rolling around in my mouth makes me uneasy. What are you scared of today? What have you been scared of recently?
Sure, fear is a part of life we all deal with and it’s not always associated with having negative and unsettling feelings. That being said, fear is, for better or worse, that driving force in my life that makes me want to work harder, reach higher and be better.
There is a side of me now that is FEARFUL of even admitting to being scared in my life right now. I want everyone to think I’m smooth sailing! I’ve got it all together!! Anxiety? Oh definitely not! Not me. I’m not sure what to be anxious about because I seem to have it all figured out!
Wrong. Like you, I AM HUMAN. Imperfect with many fears. Every day. Sometimes they keep me up at night and make me want to stay under the covers for the rest of eternity. Maybe with a gallon of Cookies & Cream ice cream. Maybe not. Preferably yes, though.
Alas, life must go on and I have no choice other than to face my fears daily. To wake up in the morning, plant my feet firmly on the ground and declare to the world, “My fears don’t define me.” Because they don’t. They are in my head and for good reason – constantly reminding me to weigh each side and assess where I truly stand. But my fears aren’t me. They are a tiny fraction within me.
One of the biggest obstacles I’ve faced as an independent, female business owner:
Learning to live with fear and not in fear.
I’m still learning how to use fear to my advantage while simultaneously avoiding those heavy chains of fear that leave you feeling paralyzed. And it’s hard. So hard. At the end of the day, what brings me back to earth is to let go, let God. At some point I just have to smile and trust that He’s looking out for me. What good is it for me to dwell in fear and anxiety? Life is short. As good ole Teddy Roosevelt put it, “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” Amen!
YOU (and me): Today I’m scared of __________ because ________________.
To which I respond:
Do you have a roof over your head?
Do you have food to eat?
Do you have a bed to sleep in?
Do you have clothes to wear?
Do you have one person who loves you?
Do you have your health?
THEN YOU ARE BLESSED AND EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY. END OF STORY.
Life is fun. Really. Don’t get it twisted. Fear is and always will be in your life and instead of thinking of all of the ways fears can destroy areas of your life (oh, I’m good at this!) …think of all of the ways fears can IGNITE YOUR HAPPINESS.
Example: I’m currently in the process of finding an apartment to live in downtown. I’ve never had my own apartment but am thrilled at the thought of having my own space during this awesome, awesome time in my life.
My ordinary train of thought: I’m scared of moving into my own place because I’ve never lived downtown, it’s significantly more expensive to live on your own and especially living on your own downtown, what if I get lonely, it is putting me out of my comfort zone and so on and so forth.
Yes, living on my own will be more expensive but I will take such pride in having my own space full of love and inspiration. I may be worried about making ends meet at times, but I’ll work my butt off even more to make things happen. I’ll open my circle of clients further by being in a new area. I’ll discover new places. I’ll make new friends and have new running routes. I’ll try new things. Yes, I am scared but that is oddly how I know it’s right for me.
I never, ever want to live my life in fear. I never want to be complacent and the biggest way I avoid complacency is living with my fear and not in it. Living in fear would be staying where I am because it’s comfortable and easy. Living with fear is finding a new place to live because I recognize all of the ways I will grow as a person and that’s all I really want.
To whomever is heavy hearted right now and burdened by fear:
It’s going to be okay. I promise you. I know it can be easy to forget. Smile and know in your heart that this isn’t for nothing: you are fearful for a reason but it is for no other reason than GROWTH. And growth makes us better. Makes us stronger…
Life is good. Yes it is.